Saturday, November 26, 2011

Do I Believe in Destiny?

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I am working night shifts now and living with my brother. So I've been able to partake of some much longed for reading. Tonight's stroll began with "The Mentor Book of Major American Poets" by Williams and Honig. Self control has been a struggle (as usual for me) because I wanted to post and share so many works by so many greats. Unable to choose and hungry for more, I just kept turning pages.

Then--

THE EAGLE THAT IS FORGOTTEN- Vachel Lindsay

(John P. Altgeld. Born december 30, 1847; died March 12, 1902)

Sleep softly ... eagle forgotten ... under the stone.
Time has its way with you there, and the clay has its own.

"We have buried him now," thought your foes, and in secret rejoiced.
They made a brave show of their mourning, their hatred unvoiced.
They had snarled at you, barked at you, foamed at you, day after day.
Now you were ended. They praised you ... and laid you away.

The others, that mourned you in silence and terror and truth,
The window bereft of her crust, and the boy without youth,
The mocked and the scorned and the sounded, the lame and the poor,
That should have remembered forever, ... Remember no more.

Where are those lovers of yours, on what name do they call,
The lost, that in armies wept over your funeral pall?
They call on the names of a hundred high-valiant ones,
A hundred white eagles have risen, the sons of your sons,
The zeal in their wings is a zeal that your dreaming began.
The valor that wore out your soul in the service of man.

Sleep softly ... eagle forgotten... under the stone.
Time has its way with you there, and the clay has its own.
Sleep on, O brave-hearted, O wise man that kindled the flame --
To live in mankind is far more than to live in a name,
To live in mankind, far, far more than ... to live in a name

These words just evoked so much emotion within me......
Is it because I am a child of the 60s?
civil right, labor laws, women's rights, (i often said that a divorced, white female with children who tried to make a living in the 80s was the most discriminated against individual on earth---i can still make a good argument for that one), sexual freedom, affirmative actions, EEO, race vs color.........

and I'm 51, fired from Arkansas' Medicaid DHS Program Integrity Division on January 25, 2011

I was a newly created position
superuser
hired by the State of Arkansas
because the Feds said so!!!!
....to investigate waste, fraud and abuse.....

I was so excited
......then I got really excited
because I found "IT"
.......FRAUD

but it was being committed by DHS-----and those who were profitting from DHS

me and my "gotta do my job" attitude
........we........i........pointed it out
and got fired 9 days later
for "unprofessional conduct"
//////////////cuz I walked away from my supervisor//////who had done as she was told
         stripped me of all access to anything--actually had me reviewing dental charts
----you can't review a dental chart unless you track down both the tooth and the patient and make sure they ain't connected------not exactly a great use of taxpayor dollars----but just the kind of thing government feels is important

"unprofessional conduct"-------barred from rehire------Class A offense----you know kinda like assaulting a coworker, brandishing a firearm or sexual harrassment

i walked away from my supervisor because i was crying and didn't want to do it publicly---you know how those work place cubicles are when it comes to privacy-----and i was having to stand outside her cube space while she stripped me of my dignity--------took my 31 years of nursing experience and made me look for rotten teeth

unattached rotten teeth

.........so my pride got a little wounded.......you see I was used to actually doing something useful for a living...........what was i thinkin????????when i passed that mission statement every morning, the one that mentioned caring for" the poor and the needy",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, for some reason,,,,,,,,,,,,i,,,,,thought,,,,,,they,,,,,meant,,,,,,,,that,,,,,,,,,they,,,,,,,,really,,,,,,,,,,,,cared

"The others, that mourned you in silence and terror and truth,
The window bereft of her crust, and the boy without youth,
The mocked and the scorned and the sounded, the lame and the poor,
That should have remembered forever, ... Remember no more."

the same ones who since the beginning of time have exploited whoever allowed exploitation
------slave, indentured, civil, female, gay,crippled, weak----------and the one that makes me grit my teeth and salivate:
----------a parent--------who needs that job---------,,,,,,,,they,they,they,,,,,,, really know how to exploit that one,,,,,,,,,,

ANYWAY

"Sleep softly ... eagle forgotten ... under the stone.
Time has its way with you there, and the clay has its own."

ALTGELD------ i didnt know who he was, so i looked him up. can't say i agree with all his politics but i sure do agree with his principle................and pardoning men for murders they obviously didn't commit............i feel is pretty solid principle. HAYMARKET AFFAIR ---May 4, 1886.
my birthday is may41960.  there's been a lot emotion, friction, application of principle in action---- on that particular day, may4, pick a year----lot's of years subsequent to the 1886 year-----

it's 6am and i need to go to sleep but not before i mention
another influence on me tonight when
it comes to
standing up for what's right
in a way that isn't influenced by power or money

please read about "Wickpedia"-------- because knowledge is power and so little of what we are being fed is pure

i'm gonna see what they-Wickpedia-have to say about Vachel Lindsay

good night

1 comment:

  1. THIS explains so much!!!! my God...this world and it's pretend ways of doing the right thing sicken me. i am so very sorry for the tragic way things were handled when you decided to take a stand for righteousness...(((YOU))) did the right thing, and don't you ever forget it!

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