Magpie Tales

My bristling youth

strove for perfection

and glistened with innocent

trust

But years stained the palette

and yellowed the page...

while innocence faded

to dusk

Though youth now recedes-

and tarnish with age

though frames become wrinkled

with time

The jar by my bed

will hold joy of my life-

his hand gently cradled

in mine

written for Magpie Tales

BLUE

"I'm so blue"
is often said
when heart is long
and tears run free

"I'm so blue"
why does it mean
that darkness nears
and overtakes

Blue to me...
the color of sky
a robin's egg
the ocean wide

Blue to me...
the eyes I trust
the color of peace
in arms of love


for Theme Thursday

should a pure white cloud

lonG for the colors of a rainbow

or a raindrop

wish to be a breeze

each a treasure that weaves

a wondrous creation

so are the gIfts of each

circumstance

treasures of time

freely giVen

every beat of my heart

and breath of my life

seEds to be planted-

nourished

to create

glory

whether the rain

heed the SoN

God in ME

Stillness

As I was walking out of my granddaughter's daycare today, I happened to notice a bluebird perched on the branch of a crepe myrtle. Something made me stop to appreciate the beautiful richness of the blue on his back combined with the red breast. When I approached he flew away but happened to land on my car. Again I stopped and wondered at such an awesome creation. Deep within me I felt that I had been given a sign from God of reassurance that He was with me and wanted me to know how special I am to Him.



When I arrived back at home, I felt an urgency to begin working on the many tasks that were bombarding my brain....make the beds, do the dishes, wash some clothes, sweep the floors. Then a still voice within me beckoned me to my sunroom to just sit, be still and enjoy the quiet of the morning.


So here I sit with a cup of tea. In the distance I hear a train and watch as birds fly in and out of the trees outside the window. At first I had to struggle with my mind to overcome the feeling that I was being lazy or irresponsible. Then I looked down at my hands. I mean really looked at my hands...and realized they have lost their youth. Fifty years have past...life hasn't been easy...it shows in my hands...


When I look up I see a robin sitting on our fence. He's a bit odd because he has a black and white speckled head. We first noticed him when we moved here almost five years ago and he has remained a constant visitor throughout all the seasons. My husband and I speculate that he is quite old. I’m not sure if birds grow white on top as they age- but that is the tale we tell of him. Often times I have tried to take a picture of this unusual bird but have yet to capture him on film. A frequent, elusive visitor...I know the day will come when I realize I haven't seen him for a while.


My mind stills itself as I once again sense the gift of reassurance that I am special and I feel comforted. Peaceful stillness...my elusive visitor.  I take another sip of tea.

why

We have a granddaughter that lives with us. She has been in our home since she was two. She is now five. It was meant to be a temporary situation. Her parents interact with her just enough to keep the hope alive that someday she will be reunited with them. Their constant disappointment is just enough to break her precious and trusting heart and brings her to sobbing tears. All while our legal system protects her parents and their "parental rights".

I often become angry and verbally lash out at her parents.

I often ask God to take the burden of this child away.

I often ask God to bring a change of heart in her parents and occasionally start to believe....only to be disappointed and angry once again.

I often raise my anger toward God and ask "why?". Don't I deserve to enjoy my golden years? Didn't all those years as a single parent struggling to survive and raise two children merit me a little peace now that mine are grown?

Then, I hear her laughter or she hugs my leg.

Envy
of contentment
invades me
as one who
has been violated
in the most
intimate of ways

Unable to wash
away the filth
of guilt
reflected by
ingratitude

Aware that I
am known
past, present, future
and still loved

i
writhe against
your attempts to
still my soul

Desiring only to free
myself
from my chains

A slave struggling
to be free

Spurning
the gift
i long to possess

still
i ask why

knowing i should
be overcome with
gratitude
as one found entrusted
with a life
asked to be lived
in faith

i recognize
why

Mag 17

Suddenly i realize

His love is for

free

even me

the prodigal she

Brian at waystationone wrote a piece the other day about a child I assume was in foster care.
I can't stop thinking about that child....what does the future hold for someone tossed around by life void of love and security?

eyes bloodshot
body tweaking
begging for the
absolution that only a
chemical can bestow

modesty long lost
lifestyle apparent
i am instantly behind
the wheel of judgement-
ready to remove society
of it's burden

then you touch my hand-

my first instinct is to withdraw...
who knows what
lingers there?

thoughts invades my conscience...

you were once a child...
did anyone ever care?
did anyone ever hold
your hand when it was small?

slowly i release your grasp...

walking away
trying to breath through
the hand of judgement
smothering
my shame